Family

This is related to my last blog post. They have 5 more days here or.. nearly 4 'cause its almost 12 in the midnight here in Philippines now.

I'm gonna miss them so much. I'll be living alone here again. This place would be so quiet again and I'll be doing everything all by my own again. Its somehow sad to live alone but I know I'm not a child anymore. And God is with me every time. My dad is alone in Saudi too now since my mom and brother are here in the Philippines. I'm happy because he'll be with them again. 

Ever since I was a kid, I really have this inside me that its okay for me to feel sad as long as the people I love are happy. I don't want to see them sad, it breaks my heart seeing them that way. I'd rather be the one who gets sick than seeing them suffering from sickness. I'd rather get hurt than seeing them getting hurt. I'd rather be the one who eats nothing than seeing them eat nothing. I would rather be alone here in the Philippines rather than force them to come live with me here and leave my dad there for working purposes. I don't want that. I don't know but I guess its just a part of me :) And I really want to see smiles from their faces and of course from the faces of the people I love :) I want them to be together always. I want to be with them too of course. But if there's someone who needs to sacrifice, I mean.. I'm a girl whose very very close with my family, every family member so before I started entering college, I seriously had a hard time. I had these numerous sleepless nights, crying before going to sleep and not eating because of depression. It was really hard at first since I've been with them for years and suddenly need to leave for college. Even though it was hard for me, I would still   rather live by myself than my father in Saudi. In Saudi, we don't have any relatives there.. just friends, church friends :) Here in the Philippines we have a lot so I can go and meet them anytime. In the case of my dad, he can't so I want him to be with my mom and brother though it takes me to be alone here. 

I love them so much and I'm going to miss my mom and my brother. I miss my dad so much. I long to live with them again. I want to build or buy a house for them after I graduate and start working. It seems silly since I'm still studying but I want to have our own house here in the Philippines. I'm really looking forward for that and praying for it! If I can't I know God has a better plan for us. 

Psalm 37:4

Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give  you the desires of your heart 

Thank you daddy God! I know You're in control of everthing! :">