Airplanes

The day came. My mom and brother went off 6 hours ago to Jeddah again. I'm alone here now. Alone is different from lonely so I'm still good :) I'm having a roommate this time and the best thing about my roommate is that she's a Christian too. I really love having devoted Christian people around me. 

Well yesterday.. we had our breakfast at Mcdonalds. It was our last meal together before they go. I didn't feel the sadness during the morning. After eating at Mcdonalds, we went to SM Manila to buy some stuffs to bring. We rode taxi on our way home. When we got home, they started to fix things already since they have to go to the aiport at 1pm. Their flight was scheduled at 6pm. To avoid heavy traffic and crowded people at the entrance of the airport, they decided to go there earlier.. really early. The fixing time had passed so fast and they had to get a taxi soon. I didn't went with them to the airport because I'm sure that it will be too.. much drama and I don't want that. Seeing them go breaks my heart so I decided to just go with them up to the taxi only. When we took a taxi and put everything they brought with them inside the car, I quickly went back home.. and yeah  unconsciously.. I was crying already. I really hated airplanes before and partly until now.. because it takes my loved ones away :'( But I know its kind of childish to think of that but yeah.. I'm serious. 

I don't want to watch them go away. I don't want them to see me cry and in my part, to see them cry. Seeing them crying makes me even more uncomfortable. Its really sad to be away from the ones you love and to the people you have been with for a very long time.. even from the very start :) It was always been hard for me to part ways from them. I never had this feeling "I'm used it, I'm fine". I wanted to have that feeling but every time I try, its just keep getting worse. I'm sad that they went back there but I'm partly happy because I know they'll meet my dad again soon since he was alone there for 45 days.. my dad counted that haha! he said.. :D

Like what my sibling in Christ said, its okay to be sad but we don't have to dwell on it for too long. It will not do us anything good. I realized that just because I feel sad doesn't mean I have to be sad the whole day. I have Jesus in me, He who is greater than anyone or anything in this world. Why would I dwell on this sadness? He alone makes me happy. Knowing that I have Jesus in my life is more than enough to make me feel glad and grateful. God said, He'll send a comforter.. he is the Holy Spirit. And I want him to live in me always. I'm really thankful that I have godly family and friends around me, most especially daddy God :) 

I know I'll be fine here and they'll be fine there for I know God will always be with us, with you ;)